- During the Plasticine era dinosaurs were squishy and easily shaped.
- I hate the Playa AND the Game.
- Seattle socializing: “Hey, let’s try to meet sometime before we die! You know, if it’s convenient”
- I’ve started making artisanal ice in my own freezer using free-range water I collect by hand with a silver thimble. Prices upon request.
- God never closes a door without opening a window. And he never closes a window without leaving the tap dripping. And he never turns the tap off without leaving a freakin t-shirt on the floor.
- How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?
- All that glitters has a high refractive index.
- It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
- “In your FACE, baby peach!” A sane person might possibly say that after a very difficult race in Mario Kart.
- I believe it was Mel Gibson who once said: “Why you ******* ***** I ought to ***** you and you ought to *********** ***** **** my ******** ****!”
- I really hurt my neck the other day and now have zero range of motion looking to my left. I’d like to encourage anything interesting that happens to stand to my right.
- Weird dreams, I was helping the three stooges build a waterfront resort. The night before, I killed a chihuahua in a microwave. The portents are mysterious…
- New on TLC this season: “I didn’t know I was obese, little, paralyzed and pregnant”
- Bad Beth and Beyond…One Woman’s Sensuous Journey
- Davejavu: I’m sure I’ve met you before, Dave.
